Dating Someone Who Just Got Out of a Relationship: What You Need to Know
When you’ve just come out of a long-term relationship, the world looks a bit different. If you have just started to date someone who’s seeing the world from a brand new point of view, you might run into a bit of trouble, to begin with. They have just gone through a turbulent period and said goodbye to one of their best friends; your ability to understand this will determine how well you cope with it.
Read up on a few suggestions from those who have been there before. They won’t necessarily make your relationship a successful one, but they might be able to give you an insight to how they’re thinking – and increase your chances of making it a long-term one.
The past will haunt you, to begin with
Imagine that you just ended it with someone who you had been together with for five years – every day for five years, living together, eating, and sleeping. The world is going to look a whole lot different when you suddenly need to be on your own, right? Try to apply this mindset if you feel like your new squeeze lacks the ability to be independent or complete regular tasks that everyone should be able to do.
Maybe she postpones doing laundry for way longer than what’s socially accepted since her former partner used to be in charge of this – or maybe he skips breakfast every time and forgets to eat since his previous partner always cooked breakfast.
Everyone grieves in their own way, and even though they’re probably over their past relationship, they might not have adapted to get back into their old habits.
They don’t know how to be single yet
If you’ve been single for awhile and start to see someone exclusively, you might have to brush up on your relationship skills – otherwise, you risk making your boyfriend or girlfriend feel a bit neglected. The same applies when you’ve just left a long-term relationship behind; you’ll notice it on their awkward flirting as if they’re in desperate need of a decent dating coach. It might feel like you’re either making plans with an incredibly shy teenager or with someone who’s behaving as if you’ve been married for a decade or two.
They don’t know how to be single; they know how to be in a relationship. This doesn’t mean that they’re looking for one quite yet, though, it just implies that this is what they know.
They are not necessarily looking for a serious relationship
When you’ve been seeing someone new for a short while and have noticed traces of stronger feelings, it’s sad to discover that the other one wasn’t as serious as you. If they see you as nothing more than a rebound and a bit of fun, it’s common decency to tell you this right from the start. It is sometimes the case, however, that your date isn’t even aware of this themselves.
It feels good and exciting to be in a new relationship, no matter how serious it is, and they could have gotten in too deep without noticing it. You need to consider your steps carefully; if he or she asks for time and space to be alone, don’t scare them away with your wild emotions.
This is, after all, their time to discover what they really want out of a relationship – and more drama is certainly not something they’ll be looking for.
Most of us have some form of irrational fears. Mine involve dating. But are they irrational or relevant? And could a vegan actually kill me! You can read more about my dating dilemmas over on Oh-Samantha. Take a look at My Irrational Fears of Dating