Family Matters: 7 Steps to Tackle Problems Directly
One of the biggest regrets that people have later in life is not dealing with their family issues more successfully. Looking back, many of these problems may pale into insignificance, but at the time, they seem like the most important things in the world. In extreme situations, they could lead you to ruin your relationships and lose contact with the people who mean so much to you.
Your best course of action is always going to be to deal with these problems directly, but this is often easier said than done. If you are one of those people who prefer to avoid confrontation, take a look at some of these ways to tackle family issues in the best way possible.
Remember, You Can’t Choose Your Family
The old saying ‘you can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family rings’ still rings true. There needs to be more of an understanding that everyone has faults, and both sides can be more accommodating of this. Ultimately, you have to ask yourself how much the conflicts are worth to you and whether they are worth losing an important relationship in your life. In the vast majority of circumstances, you will find that the bond you share is more important than any conflicts you are having.
Let Go of Pride
One of the most forgotten of the seven deadly sins is that of pride. But, in the long-run, though it may be something that is very difficult to let go of, it is not something that will serve you well. Of course, that doesn’t mean that you should let yourself get walked all over, but pride is something that many people can stand to lose a bit of. Often, you just need to take a step back and assess what it means to you compared to what your relationship means.
Don’t Make Your Aim Winning
When you have an issue, your aim should always be resolution rather than winning. People have a tendency to think that they are in the right on most issues, so what they are expecting is an apology from the other person rather than a mutual resolution. One of the best things that you can do is to try to see things from the other person’s point of view, no matter how challenging this may be at the beginning.
Figure Out What the Issue is
It may sound obvious, but sometimes, the argument you are having is simply covering over something which is more important. The better you know a person and what it is that matters to them, the more likely it is that you will discover what is really the matter. Again, it helps to take a step back from the situation, so you can analyse it objectively – though this is often easier said than done.
Talk to Your Other Family Members
If you have followed all the other steps, now is the time to actually sit down and speak to your family members about what is going on. Hopefully, you should be going in with a different perspective than you had before – one which is more understanding. Explain to them that your only goal is to make the situation better, and try to communicate your point of view in a way that is not judgemental. Hopefully, they will then adopt the same approach with you as well.
Be Both Honest and Respectful
There is rarely a situation where 100 percent of the blame is on one side, so you should be trying to explain your feelings in a way that is not accusatory towards the other person. It can help things along by expressing a way that you could have handled the situation better, so they are encouraged to do the same. Be careful of your use of language – there are plenty of dos and don’t when it comes to confrontation which are worth looking at in more detail.
Get Professional Support When Needed
Sometimes, when things are proving too difficult to resolve yourself, you may need to enlist the support of a professional like a counsellor who is trained to help with conflict resolution. In extreme circumstances, when all else has failed, you may need to enlist qualified solicitors like Eatons. Getting professional support can help to put you in a better position to deal with conflicts into the future.
Hopefully, these seven steps have given you some inspiration of how you can better tackle any family matters that you have in front of you.