The Selfish / Selfless Wanderings Of Mommies
Motherhood is one of these things that life throws at you without instruction: it’s up to you to find out how to be the best mother you can. As a result, it’s not uncommon for others to sit back and judge your mommy’s skills. You know the saying: everybody’s a critic. But what you might not have considered is that opinions are strongly divided on some mother’s behaviours: for some you’re selfish, and for others you’re selfless. The reality is somewhere in between. Like with most things, motherhood is about achieving the perfect balance of selfishness and selflessness.
Stay at home or working mommy?
There’s always a big discussion about whether you should stay at home with your child or go back to work. It’s a difficult topic, but you’re the only one to know how much time you need for yourself and with your baby. You need some time off to adjust to the physical and emotional changes that occur with motherhood. But there’s no indication that going back to work early or staying at home forever makes you a better or worse mother. However, whatever you choose to do, it’s a decision you need to share and discuss with your partner. I hear you, it’s your life, and it should be your choice. True, but your choices impact on your partner too. So don’t be a selfish mommy and decide with your other half what is the best course of action for both of you.
A mother’s selfless love
According to the media, nothing equals a mother’s love. In reality, there’s one thing that matches a mother’s love, and it’s a father’s affection. It’s important to remember that your child needs both parents and that both carry the same love, whether you’re sitting in the office of a divorce lawyer or picking Christmas presents. Don’t be fooled into thinking that pregnancy proves you love your child more. Otherwise, you’ll end up hurting your child and their father.
Selfless Breastfeeding or selfish bottle?
There’s a big divide about breastfeeding and bottle-feeding mommies. And, as you might have guessed, a lot of mothers feel judged and criticised for choosing to bottle feed their baby. Whatever you pick, it’s a personal decision, and more importantly, it’s your right not to breastfeed your child. Admittedly it doesn’t help to say that people have no business judging because they will nevertheless. In the end, what works for you will work for your baby. Babies can feel your stress and anxiety, so there’s no need forcing yourself to breastfeed to pretend to be a good mother. You are a good mother as long as you feed your baby. It doesn’t matter how you do it.
The incredible Supermom
No, motherhood is not a superpower, whatever you might think. Motherhood is a social status that is matched by fatherhood. Apart from breastfeeding, mommies and daddies share the same skills and abilities to take care of their baby. It doesn’t mean you’re not doing a great job. But it means that you shouldn’t selfishly assume that a dad couldn’t do what you do. Because he can; it’s called parenthood.
Becoming a mommy is a fantastic adventure that divides people over selfish and selfless representations. The key to success is to decide as a family what works for you. And remember, there’s no mommy without a daddy, so work together for the sake of your baby.